Greetings all!
First, a thanks for guiding me into the path of God. I think many many of my dear friends have been praying for me and can't help feeling like Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life".
I believe as with a fair number of brothers and sisters [at CCCV], I have "made in Hong Kong" stamped on my bottom. My family is a quite traditional Chinese family. I attended a Catholic elementary school in HK, and every morning we'd say the Lord's prayer, but not really know what we were talking about. It wasn't because my family had any Christian inclination that we (my brothers and I) were there, but simply we used to get a discount in the dues because, oddly enough, my dad used to teach night school there. (He went to a Catholic school as well, but then, there were numerous in HK.) We had Bible story classes, but mostly they seem boring or out of context.
Then we immigrated to Canada, and as most parents do so for the same reason - for the children's education and future. Things were rather uneventful through local elementary school, high school up to UBC. But then I should mention my Grade 6 teacher, Mr. Peterson. I can do a full length speech about Mr. Peterson (and I had!), but let's say he is one of those teacher who inspires and teaches more than just what's in the textbooks. He didn't just teach us how to count, but also what counts - manners, courtesy, respect. I have been able to keep in touch with him and his wife through out the years. I remember every morning, Mr. Peterson would read a passage from his Bible. I don't think there was much meaning of it to me at the time either, as I was still struggling with English to some extend. I do remember that's when we learned Psalm 23. At the time, apparently all the students were given a small New Testament, from which we all read along - except that I didn't have one. I skipped grade 5 when they handed it out. But somehow, I think one of my brothers got a copy later and that's that little New Testament I carry in my bag today. Why I mention Mr. Peterson will be clear shortly, but I'll move on a bit here.
I was flipping through the TV one day when I came across this show that I had to stop. There is this wonderfully elegant woman on TV and I had to stop to check it out! That was Roma Downey as Monica and the show was "Touched By An Angel". I started to watch it and really like the show. I thought there was always something I can take away. Then I found this mailing list with fans of "Touched By An Angel" and got into some discussions about the show, God, faith, etc. Got into some interesting discussions with this lady in Kansas, called Bryn (pronounce "Bran"). Eventually we became good friends, visited her one American Thanksgiving, staying with her family. I went to church with her parents over the Sunday and saw a couple for baptism the first time in my life. They go to a Free Evangelical church, which is something in style like the big church at Willingdon. They encouraged me to follow up with some church group locally when I got back. I had all intentions to following up but one thing or another kept me off. On a side note, I returned about 2 years later, on the Canadian Thanksgiving, for Bryn's wedding, as we had a bet to see which of us will get married first!
I think it was after my first visit to Kansas that I thought I should start reading the Bible. I felt I get snippets of sermons here and there, but don't have the proper context of what it really is about. I tried starting from the very beginning, from Genensis. It went on for a couple of weeks at best, but I failed to continue. I think perhaps I had tried to take in too much too quickly, reading too much at a time and got other distractions. Then last spring Mr. Peterson passed away. Remember him? I suppose something about that got me remembering what he did and I started picking up my little New Testament sitting on my shelf and start reading from Matthew, one chapter a day in the morning before work. Perhaps having a hard copy versus trying to read on the net helped. Perhaps it was God's will. My intention still was to get a sense of what is actually said, to get a big picture of what it's all about, and I have to say it is somewhat different, in my mind at least, from some of my preconceived notions. Previously, more often than not, whether it's true or not, the perception to me is much is preached about the negative side, what you ought not to do, what will condemn you, what are sins. What I read though, is there seems to be a lot more positive messages in the whole than the negative. Not so much the "Thou shalt not do this or that" but more of "This is what God is", what Christ is. Got into some discussion of this with a couple of good friends, who are also Christians, and adviced me that don't look at other "Christians" do, but read for yourself and find out for yourself, that we as humans fails miserably though we all can try and keep trying. That make a lot of sense to me, as Christ said "judge not others..."
I also came across a taped book of the Old Testament at the library over Christmas and was listening to that in my drives to and from work. That certainly cleared up as to why some parts never seem to get read, such as the many facts and figures from Numbers which really is more like an accounting record than relevant concepts!
A friend suggested "The Case for Christ" by Lee Strobel as he take a more analytical analysis of Christ. I read it, thought it was quite methodical, but somewhat lacking in the opposing argument and somewhat one sided. I wanted to find out something more of the opposing arguments of those who don't believe. So I got "Atheism: Case Against God" by George H. Smith. I haven't finished it yet, but find it a little disappointing so far. He went in great lengths of definitions, and mostly seems to be on definitions of words rather than concepts. It was trying to be methodical and clarify the language. What really gets me though, is what he seems to be the lack of understanding of the concept of "time" and "timespace". What is that significance? That concept was clarified in my mind from CS Lewis' "Mere Christianity", and that is probably one the most significant literature I've read.
This is what happened: I met Eliza at a Thanksgiving (do you see a pattern here?) gathering with some mutual friends. Our relationship developed over time from there as we got to know each other more. Got to talking with her brother John who gave me "Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis. It's not a big text, so that was appealing! What I find in there are many key concepts that has been made clear to me, or start to gel with what I've read in other books, including the Bible itself. The fundamental concepts of simply accepting Christ as our Saviour and not in what we do, that what we do is simply a reflection of what believe because that's what Christ would do (What Would Jesus Do, right?). Lewis talked about look at it in what works for you. Don't argue with other Christians or people because something else works for them. God is personal and reaches each of us in different ways because He made each of us differently. One key concept happened for me while attending the Easter play at the Willingdon Church (perhaps shortly before), when Eliza and I were talking about free will. I haven't thought about that concept before, but here is what some people seem to say: If God knows all, then He would know what we will choose. And if so, our lives are determined, hence contradiction that we really don't have a choice since it's pre-determined. And if not, then God can't know all, ergo contradicts the very definition of God. Initially, my thought was at each point of life we have a choice. How we choose is up to us. We don't see all possible results, but God knows each path and where each will lead. Something like the sci-fi concept of parallel universes. But that doesn't work as then God still don't know what we will choose. As with Smith, I was muddled with the concept of time, which Lewis made clear (as I read that very night!): That God being beyond time, each of our moment is a kind of present for Him. That actually made sense for me and clarified what I needed to know.
You see, my background is in Engineering Physics. What we do know in physics is time and space are intertwined, without one you can't have the other. Time is so much a part of us that it is hard for us to be detached from it. Eternity is the absence of time. "Before" and "after" exists only if time exists. Without the bounds of time and space, God is with us at all time and space. What I thought I knew before I didn't know and God showed me what I needed to know.
So, I guess I am coming to the end (and you are probably glad!). I suppose I had to ask, so why should I not believe, or why should I believe? Sure, I still have many questions, and perhaps more I don't even know about yet. But I was coming to this realization: If you look at your parents (or even yourself), do they love each other? And if so, do they really know all about each other? Do they need to before they got married? You need to learn something, that's for sure, but relationships are built over a lifetime. You can love and marry without having to know and understand every nuances and minute detail of each other. For if we have to, then none of us will probably ever get born, for as surely as no one will ever get married! So, if we build such relationships with so falliable a human being, should it be that much harder or easier with God? The answer seems to me then is I don't need to know so much to start. As surely as God is Truth, I just have to start and He shall show me the way. What else can hold me back from putting my life in the hands of God?
Well, the final knot I needed to free was my worry of my dad's reaction, as I am the oldest son, and perhaps expectations to carry on traditions. Things I thought I need to find a solution for first, until talking with David last Saturday asking me back but am I really understanding in putting my faith in the hands of God? I wasn't. Again, God showed me what I needed to know when I needed to know.
As Rev. Chung said, believing doesn't mean all smooth sailing, and I have a long long ways to go still, but I believe it does mean that now I know God will always be with me and carry me.
A final note: I think it was the right time because as Rev. Chung was reading from James 3:13-18 last Sunday, in my own reading of the New Testament, I was also at James 3:13-18the very next morning of my reading.
First, a thanks for guiding me into the path of God. I think many many of my dear friends have been praying for me and can't help feeling like Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life".
I believe as with a fair number of brothers and sisters [at CCCV], I have "made in Hong Kong" stamped on my bottom. My family is a quite traditional Chinese family. I attended a Catholic elementary school in HK, and every morning we'd say the Lord's prayer, but not really know what we were talking about. It wasn't because my family had any Christian inclination that we (my brothers and I) were there, but simply we used to get a discount in the dues because, oddly enough, my dad used to teach night school there. (He went to a Catholic school as well, but then, there were numerous in HK.) We had Bible story classes, but mostly they seem boring or out of context.
Then we immigrated to Canada, and as most parents do so for the same reason - for the children's education and future. Things were rather uneventful through local elementary school, high school up to UBC. But then I should mention my Grade 6 teacher, Mr. Peterson. I can do a full length speech about Mr. Peterson (and I had!), but let's say he is one of those teacher who inspires and teaches more than just what's in the textbooks. He didn't just teach us how to count, but also what counts - manners, courtesy, respect. I have been able to keep in touch with him and his wife through out the years. I remember every morning, Mr. Peterson would read a passage from his Bible. I don't think there was much meaning of it to me at the time either, as I was still struggling with English to some extend. I do remember that's when we learned Psalm 23. At the time, apparently all the students were given a small New Testament, from which we all read along - except that I didn't have one. I skipped grade 5 when they handed it out. But somehow, I think one of my brothers got a copy later and that's that little New Testament I carry in my bag today. Why I mention Mr. Peterson will be clear shortly, but I'll move on a bit here.
I was flipping through the TV one day when I came across this show that I had to stop. There is this wonderfully elegant woman on TV and I had to stop to check it out! That was Roma Downey as Monica and the show was "Touched By An Angel". I started to watch it and really like the show. I thought there was always something I can take away. Then I found this mailing list with fans of "Touched By An Angel" and got into some discussions about the show, God, faith, etc. Got into some interesting discussions with this lady in Kansas, called Bryn (pronounce "Bran"). Eventually we became good friends, visited her one American Thanksgiving, staying with her family. I went to church with her parents over the Sunday and saw a couple for baptism the first time in my life. They go to a Free Evangelical church, which is something in style like the big church at Willingdon. They encouraged me to follow up with some church group locally when I got back. I had all intentions to following up but one thing or another kept me off. On a side note, I returned about 2 years later, on the Canadian Thanksgiving, for Bryn's wedding, as we had a bet to see which of us will get married first!
I think it was after my first visit to Kansas that I thought I should start reading the Bible. I felt I get snippets of sermons here and there, but don't have the proper context of what it really is about. I tried starting from the very beginning, from Genensis. It went on for a couple of weeks at best, but I failed to continue. I think perhaps I had tried to take in too much too quickly, reading too much at a time and got other distractions. Then last spring Mr. Peterson passed away. Remember him? I suppose something about that got me remembering what he did and I started picking up my little New Testament sitting on my shelf and start reading from Matthew, one chapter a day in the morning before work. Perhaps having a hard copy versus trying to read on the net helped. Perhaps it was God's will. My intention still was to get a sense of what is actually said, to get a big picture of what it's all about, and I have to say it is somewhat different, in my mind at least, from some of my preconceived notions. Previously, more often than not, whether it's true or not, the perception to me is much is preached about the negative side, what you ought not to do, what will condemn you, what are sins. What I read though, is there seems to be a lot more positive messages in the whole than the negative. Not so much the "Thou shalt not do this or that" but more of "This is what God is", what Christ is. Got into some discussion of this with a couple of good friends, who are also Christians, and adviced me that don't look at other "Christians" do, but read for yourself and find out for yourself, that we as humans fails miserably though we all can try and keep trying. That make a lot of sense to me, as Christ said "judge not others..."
I also came across a taped book of the Old Testament at the library over Christmas and was listening to that in my drives to and from work. That certainly cleared up as to why some parts never seem to get read, such as the many facts and figures from Numbers which really is more like an accounting record than relevant concepts!
A friend suggested "The Case for Christ" by Lee Strobel as he take a more analytical analysis of Christ. I read it, thought it was quite methodical, but somewhat lacking in the opposing argument and somewhat one sided. I wanted to find out something more of the opposing arguments of those who don't believe. So I got "Atheism: Case Against God" by George H. Smith. I haven't finished it yet, but find it a little disappointing so far. He went in great lengths of definitions, and mostly seems to be on definitions of words rather than concepts. It was trying to be methodical and clarify the language. What really gets me though, is what he seems to be the lack of understanding of the concept of "time" and "timespace". What is that significance? That concept was clarified in my mind from CS Lewis' "Mere Christianity", and that is probably one the most significant literature I've read.
This is what happened: I met Eliza at a Thanksgiving (do you see a pattern here?) gathering with some mutual friends. Our relationship developed over time from there as we got to know each other more. Got to talking with her brother John who gave me "Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis. It's not a big text, so that was appealing! What I find in there are many key concepts that has been made clear to me, or start to gel with what I've read in other books, including the Bible itself. The fundamental concepts of simply accepting Christ as our Saviour and not in what we do, that what we do is simply a reflection of what believe because that's what Christ would do (What Would Jesus Do, right?). Lewis talked about look at it in what works for you. Don't argue with other Christians or people because something else works for them. God is personal and reaches each of us in different ways because He made each of us differently. One key concept happened for me while attending the Easter play at the Willingdon Church (perhaps shortly before), when Eliza and I were talking about free will. I haven't thought about that concept before, but here is what some people seem to say: If God knows all, then He would know what we will choose. And if so, our lives are determined, hence contradiction that we really don't have a choice since it's pre-determined. And if not, then God can't know all, ergo contradicts the very definition of God. Initially, my thought was at each point of life we have a choice. How we choose is up to us. We don't see all possible results, but God knows each path and where each will lead. Something like the sci-fi concept of parallel universes. But that doesn't work as then God still don't know what we will choose. As with Smith, I was muddled with the concept of time, which Lewis made clear (as I read that very night!): That God being beyond time, each of our moment is a kind of present for Him. That actually made sense for me and clarified what I needed to know.
You see, my background is in Engineering Physics. What we do know in physics is time and space are intertwined, without one you can't have the other. Time is so much a part of us that it is hard for us to be detached from it. Eternity is the absence of time. "Before" and "after" exists only if time exists. Without the bounds of time and space, God is with us at all time and space. What I thought I knew before I didn't know and God showed me what I needed to know.
So, I guess I am coming to the end (and you are probably glad!). I suppose I had to ask, so why should I not believe, or why should I believe? Sure, I still have many questions, and perhaps more I don't even know about yet. But I was coming to this realization: If you look at your parents (or even yourself), do they love each other? And if so, do they really know all about each other? Do they need to before they got married? You need to learn something, that's for sure, but relationships are built over a lifetime. You can love and marry without having to know and understand every nuances and minute detail of each other. For if we have to, then none of us will probably ever get born, for as surely as no one will ever get married! So, if we build such relationships with so falliable a human being, should it be that much harder or easier with God? The answer seems to me then is I don't need to know so much to start. As surely as God is Truth, I just have to start and He shall show me the way. What else can hold me back from putting my life in the hands of God?
Well, the final knot I needed to free was my worry of my dad's reaction, as I am the oldest son, and perhaps expectations to carry on traditions. Things I thought I need to find a solution for first, until talking with David last Saturday asking me back but am I really understanding in putting my faith in the hands of God? I wasn't. Again, God showed me what I needed to know when I needed to know.
As Rev. Chung said, believing doesn't mean all smooth sailing, and I have a long long ways to go still, but I believe it does mean that now I know God will always be with me and carry me.
A final note: I think it was the right time because as Rev. Chung was reading from James 3:13-18 last Sunday, in my own reading of the New Testament, I was also at James 3:13-18the very next morning of my reading.